After opening the special gifts of the Matantes and the women who had a hand in raising me from Mom's neighborhood over a sumptuous brunch, the men returned to eat the leftovers. But that isn't all that they got to do…
|"Kindness in words creates confidence, kindness in thinking creates profoundness, |
kindness in giving creates love."
Mr. Whipple would have been in tears, had he been anywhere near Ashmeade road on this Saturday in February. As a neighbor parked her car after being waved down, she entered the Twilight Zone Male Bridesmaid Contest taking place on the Deltac's driveway. She valiantly attempted to take on the task of picking a winner. Do know that she went home with a bottle of Chanel No. 5 for participating - so it was definitely a job that paid well.
She decreed that Al Lamore, wearing a haute couture design created by Saundra and Tracy was the 3rd runner up, with his Charming Charmin Go-go boots and well-waxed femme fatale body revealed by a post-modern bathing gown.
The judge then announced that Aran was the 2nd runner up with a "Dahling" (as spoken in the South) bow tiara and soft white bracelets fashioned by Heartbreak Hannah and Noriko (inspired by Vera Wang). So much for extra points in being the Groom-to-be.
And then it got ugly. The two finalists, Bill and Patrick seemed to be fighting over a beer as they struck impressive poses that even Madonna has yet to attempt.
And the news hit the headlines…, Patrick, with his stunning tissue-encrusted naval, long train and tall stature, was awarded the title of First-runner-up to leave only one man/queen to fully gloat over his new Title.
So the only man who knew where the neighbor lived (with little toilet paper left to paper her trees with) danced and pranced his white gown - owing it all to his Top Shelf designers, Cindy and Jessica, who bent the rules a bit by adding "the piece de resistance"… a bubble wrap crinoline beneath the hula gown to accentuate his girlish figure. A crinoline that only Wild Bill Deltac could carry off in Drag.
What a finish to the best shower that Saundra, Tracy and Mom could have thrown me. With friends and family like Cindy & Pat and Al & Mary coming from 3 and 4 states away, and everyone treating me like a Princess (and Aran like a Prince with the men at a Pool hall)… what more could a girl ask for?